Freelance Friday & Feelings: Updates on My Journalistic Woes

resistance

I have never been a journalism person per se–I always enjoy embellishing, elaborating, thinking about what could happen instead of what did happen. That makes for excellent creative nonfiction but it doesn’t transition well to journalism for obvious reasons.

This past week I have been putting together a reportage freelancing piece and holy shit, I didn’t realize how much I was so murky on! A brief list on what I had to call my journalist friend in Kansas about for advice:

  1. So my source can’t read a draft of my piece and give feedback?
  2. What time do I have to call to actually get people to talk to me?
  3. I did an interview and it sucked, the source wouldn’t shut up–how can I take control of an interview in the future?
  4. How do I balance dialogue and paraphrasing in the piece?
  5. How do I even find the balance between pontificating, paraphrasing and quotes?!

In short, it was an exercise of focus on the subject at hand.

I’ve finally started feeling low-key sluggish about my newfound freedom from my shitty job that I quit a month ago now. I actually have some great updates in terms of freelancing. My alt weekly is now going to be taking me on for more projects and I officially got approved to start writing book reviews for Kirkus (!!!). I don’t know why it is so hard for me to find my premium workplace or sweet spot for productivity and freedom.

I don’t think I could ever just straight up freelance or work from home. It makes me too lazy, too antisocial. I have to really be in an excellent mindset to start the day and know I am going to bang out my work and lots of days don’t feel excellent when I wake up. They feel exhausting for many reasons.

Last night I was taking a walk around a local bayou at sunset, which I’ve become particularly fond of. The picture above is of a bridge that people wrote messages on cloth about what they are going to do to contribute to resistance. It made me wonder how much of my exhaustion and low-key depression is linked to issues bigger than me and having those worries in the back of my mind all the time.

I don’t know if anyone can necessarily quantify how the current landscape of the world is effecting them, but I certainly know there is power in trying to express that. Something felt so endlessly lovely to me seeing all of those fabric scraps blowing in the wind.

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