The Struggles of All Things Delicious: New Orleans

Image result for daiquiri new orleans


Did you know that a basic ass daiquiri, New Orleans Style Daiquiri such as one from here, like drive-through-on-a-hot-day or stumble-around-the-Quarter-getting-fucked-up daiquiri contains 1,800 CALORIES for a 32 oz cup?!?

Didn’t think so. I was pretty fucking shocked when I learned this the other day and I keep periodically gasping like “No.. Fucking.. WAY!!!!!”

The kicker is I simply had no CLUE. Who proudly displays how many calories are in the food and drink here? Close to NOBODY because a) how many people would keep buying? and b) do people really care?

That daiquiri… HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?! Plus, it doesn’t help that say you do drink that 32 oz daiquiri late at night. That single drink contains the amount of calories one should consume IN AN ENTIRE DAY. It’s fucking obscene. And once you’re a *little* tipsy (because you will not be drunk-drunk) from your daiquiri, you’re gonna want more shots and booze and some fried chicken and goddamn, one boozy choice and then you’re 5,000 calories in the hole wondering how you gained ten pounds on your vacation (or on the weekend).

When I first moved here I remember the adjustment of putting on some weight, enough for a sturdy double chin to bust out, and I knew it was evening drives for a daiquiri but didn’t know it was THAT BAD.

So! Today was an awful food day–I saw a matinee alone and drowned in a big bag of popcorn, with a touch of added butter. I was at peace with the 600 calories in the popcorn because I get it so rarely, but I’m definitely NOT at peace with how fucking sick I’ve been feeling for the past few hours from the oil and salt. It’s really really gross, and I’m sorry to be the one to share, but there’s so much oil I didn’t account for in that popcorn that I’ve low-key been spit-barfing florescent yellow butter for the past few hours….(Sorry again).

So this awful day of eating, which we all have experienced, has prompted me to put together a list of classic New Orleans specific foods (because I don’t need to actually tell you about popcorn, you know) and how many calories they pack in that we all try to ignore. The really sad thing? Boyfriend works in nutrition and every. single. day. he sees the effect of how badly locals eat here and how it effects quality of living from diabetes to kidney failure. Food here is extremely pervasive and cultural and albeit delicious but… Well.. Let’s look at numbers, shall we?

Raising Cane’s Box Combo (4 chicken tenders, Texas toast, fries, coleslaw, Cane’s sauce): 1,125 calories. 

Red Hot and Blue Catfish Platter: 1,721 calories. (Comparable to New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood)

Fried Shrimp PoBoy: 830 calories (seriously think it is likely even more).

Bowl of Gumbo: 400 calories (which isn’t even terrible, but leery of what constitutes a bowl and what’s in the gumbo for discussion…)

ANYWAY. The point is, yes, most of the foods above are fried. Yes, there are other types of foods that could be more low calorie that are local. Yes, I’m not talking protein or salt or any other additives. But I am saying it’s a big fuckin problem when I’m sitting here trying to write a touch on the calories in these foods and it’s so difficult to even FIND the information–remember that scene in Supersize Me when Morgan Spurlock goes to a bunch of McDonalds’ to attempt to find their Nutrition Charts?

Yeah, there is no true nutrition chart for so many restaurants and typical foods and drinks here. It’s a rough one. I’m past the phase of going hog-wild here eating and drinking wise but it’s still something of great concern when you see people eating and drinking these things everyday with no knowledge of repercussions.

But, then again, I’m sitting here nauseous from movie theater popcorn where the menu blatantly told me the bag was 576 calories.

Does knowledge necessarily change eating choices?

Who knows.


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