Eerie

I’m, again, late as hell to the game on listening to Serial but in my hunt for podcasts to keep my admin mornings engaged, I recalled an old boss listening, and getting addicted to the show so I thought hey, why not.

OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT UNDERSTAND THE RAPTURE?!

So I just finished Season 1, basically gulped it down whole within two and a half days. Le sigh, all done! If you don’t know the plot, quick re-cap: a high school boy is arrested and charged for the murder of an ex-girlfriend. There is no forensic evidence to link him to the murder other than some cell phone records, his lack of recollection on the day and a friend going to the police with an extremely detailed story on how and why the boy committed the murder–and how the friend helped bury the body with the boy and where the car of the ex-girlfriend was found.

Convoluted in trying to describe, I know, but WOW it is so shocking to listen to because the reporters are so incredible and dig so deep into this case to tease out things that are both incriminating and not at all so, such as the realization that the boy had an alibi during the time-frame the state believed the ex-girlfriend was murdered.

Anyway anyway anyway, a bunch of things have been popping off like fireworks in my head listening to this. It basically comes down to the fact that one person is lying, whether it is the boy or his friend implicating him. At least one of them saw this girl die and helped bury her body.

What I can’t stop thinking about is that simple, creepy underline above and the fact that these kids in high school who the entire story revolves around sound (somewhat) like my own high school experience, at least in the realm of having loose friends and getting high and just sort of wandering around with different kinds of sketchy people.

It brings forth a lot of fear in me to think about all of the possibilities, chances, and repercussions from a few unwise relationships with people that could have left me or loved ones in a prison cell for the rest of our lives. That’s a resounding recollection I always hear when I watch specials on TV about people coming out of prison: watch who you surround yourself with,  what you think is cool now won’t be when something goes wrong.

I also think about the fear of being asked about a specific day, a specific time, and simply not having the power to know what precisely happened to me at whatever time and how that could be twisted around.

Even now I want to attempt an exercise to see if I could determine where I was on a specific day a year, two year, five years ago. I don’t even want to attempt because I’m horrified of the reality of having nothing to steer my memory. An empty vessel of sorts.

I’m also confounded with a question that the host of the podcast explores to a degree–could a perfectly likable, reasonable, caring, kind person be driven to murder?

I’m of the belief that anyone can do anything if you find and break into their rough, scabby patches. I don’t prescribe to a concept that because someone was in church or played sports or was extremely kind that that they would never be capable of doing wrong to others–anyone could do anything to anybody. That’s terrifying. But to the effect, I think about some of the nicest people I’ve ever known–the IT guy at my work, for example, who is a huge furry nerd who sits on one of those little bouncy balls instead of a chair and smiles profusely every time he sees me.

The real question? What WOULD drive that bouncy-ball person to a point of murder? What is the ticker for that individual that would do that to them? Or yourself, what is your ticker?

That is even scarier.

I’m overwhelmed with this eerie vibe doing my everyday tasks–eating, writing, even walking from one side of my house to the other. It’s coming from the reality of secrets because this story contains one person lying devilishly that won’t admit it. It’s coming from the reality that the unknown is expansive and dark and deep within a person’s memory, in this case, the friend, who knows more than he would ever admit to anyone, then or now.

Season 2 begins tomorrow for my listening pleasure! Please please PLEASE if you recommend any podcasts, comment them!!! I need recommendations!!

 

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