Disenchantment

Before I dive deep into a state of depression or malice, I try very hard to find redeeming qualities about the topic in question to attempt to create a set of pros and cons to begin to approach the idea with a bit more balance.

I don’t feel like doing so today.

Instead, I would like to unapologetically say I’m disenchanted as fuck with New Orleans.

I’m sick of living in a city where Every. Single. Day. There are more and more crimes happening in public places and no one is doing anything about it. I’m sick of hearing about people getting shot on the highway every few days and who got robbed last night and who was strangle with a cord and who had a break-in and who had their car hijacked and who was punched in the head and knocked out. Even more, I’m FUCKING SICK of people blaming everyone else, like large, myopic entities like the government or this or that when people should be responsible for them-fucking-selves.

I’m sick of politicians telling people to “Stay Woke” and trying to act hip and cool to lay the foundation for a presidential run instead of saying something constructive and acknowledging that people are actually afraid of what this city is becoming.

I’m sick of trash ass landlords who, when you complain about someone smoking in the building, TELL YOU “It doesn’t say you can’t smoke in your lease.”

I’m sick of the fucking WEATHER!!!!! IT IS SO HOT I CANNOT EVEN GO OUTSIDE. I feel like a child twiddling my thumbs indoors utterly unable to do anything all fucking day.

I’m sick of the beaches that are available because I low-key want to barf thinking about swimming in the view of 12 oil rigs in hot Gulf water knowing my pale ass is about to get skin cancer from the busted ozone layer above.

Frankly, I’m sick as FUCK of all of the festivals, all of the fucking fatty food, all of the beads and the music and the poboys and the packed streetcars going downtown and the Ooohs and the Ahhhs and the way that the Quarter is painted over and the way children, LITERALLY CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 10, are posted up on Bourbon street tap dancing in goddamn Jordans to collect tips from tourists.

I’m fucking sick of people painting over the problems in this city by saying it is so ‘cultural’ and ‘historic.’ I’m really fucking sick of people trying to redeem something that will likely never be redeemed because the powers that be are so fucking stupid they don’t even care.

I’m sick of billboards trying to curb institutionalized racism when people are killing each other over fucking nothing all of the time.

I’m sick of the Bywater and Mid-City and the museums and all of the things I’ve done a thousand times before.

I’m just so sick of everything. I’ve never felt so disenchanted and low-key betrayed by the idea of a place and coming to find that the reality is dark and shitty and, more than likely, a lost cause.

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